Everybody Has a "But"  - but in job hunting?  

Everyone has one  Everyone you see has a but (notice just the one 't').  Everyone sometimes will stare out the window, imagining a goal or a future ahead of them and imagine the challenges which stand ahead in efforts to reach that goal.  When job hunting you need to know where you are putting your "but".

For some they think in terms of the dream first, followed by a 'but' and ending with the obstacles faced.  The individual may see the situation differently, with the problems first and the goal at the end of the sentence.  Here are some examples:

I really want that new job but I am old and in poor health and most employers do not hire the elderly and those obviously in bad health. I want to earn more money  but I am a single parent and I feel stuck. See how these sentences end with the negatives?  The person may try to move forward but their messages to themselves hold them back.  Now let us use the same words but reverse the order. I am old and in poor health and most employers do not hire elderly individuals or those in poor health  but I really want that new job. I am a single parent and I feel stuck but I want to earn more money .

Here is a person who has a chance at change in life.  This leads me to ask, what are you  saying to yourself?

What is in your way?

Take a moment and on one sheet of paper write down five personal goals.  These are things that you have some control over that with time, effort and hope may come true,  (For example, no "I want to marry a supermodel" as that one other person has the ability to say no.)

On another sheet of paper write down at least five things you or others may perceive to be in your way.  You may not see them as things to hinder you, but a "friend" might think so.

On a third page just write the word but.  Now the fun begins...

Listening to yourself.

Find a quiet place to be alone if you can and place the pages in front of you.  Start with the goal listing first and read each set (goal, BUT, challenge) one at a time.  Take a moment and really listen to hear if maybe, deep down, you are feeling that combination sounds true.

Maybe you will think that one set of 'things in the way' is not true to you but another is. Say them out loud because something that you may have only thought may come out of hiding.

Do not be ashamed.

This is something important for you to hear and learn and appreciate.  Now that it is out there, we can address it.

Shows in your stride, cant hide from your loved ones  If any of these self-defeating combinations are true for you, congratulations, you are human after all.  The problem is that all of this time that the BUT was in the wrong place, it has shown to others in your stride and shown especially to those who care about you.  That is life - fortunately, the ToolKit is here to readjust your but in two easy steps.

What to do now?

Locus  There is a term "locus of control", a phrase that means do you see the world as happening to you (external locus) or that your actions have an impact on the world (internal locus of control)?

Some people consider dreams will be lost to their challenges like:

"I really want that new job but I am old and in poor health and most employers do not hire the elderly and those in poor health."

These people have an external locus and believe that their efforts will be lost.  By moving the words around, they will see that their dreams can come true despite the obstacles they face.

I am old and fat and most employers do not hire old and fat people but I really want that new job

Looking over the phrases you have just said, which ones show you feeling an external locus of control?  Ready?  Just one more adjustment to make.

What to do now?

Now take those lists and place the obstacles first and the goals last (challenges, but, goals).  By adjusting your but you now talk like you have a internal locus of control in your job hunting - that the goals you have will win out and you will get that job or more money or whatever your goal is.

Say these lists out loud with energy and pride.

Say them a few more times if you need to so you can appreciate that even if you are the only person who thinks you can make it that is a start.

Catch yourself in those rainy days when the old negative phrases come back because hey, everyone needs to adjust their but from time to time.