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HERE is YOUR second section - Those Who Think They Can...
with proven lessons and exercises to build and win in the Job Hunt.
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Tennis Lesson
This is one of the most frustrating lessons for me
to remark about because many feel that they have to become someone they are not
when in the interview. The best way I
know to express this is to mention how I learned of its power.
Years ago I was playing tennis against an old friend
and his serve would fly past me every time.
I took him aside and asked what his secret was
- - did he inhale or exhale just before hitting the ball? He thought it through and each time in the
next game he served the ball he was concentrating so much on whether or not he
was inhaling, his serves slowed enough that I was able to hit them back.
Once
he noticed how concentrating on something that really did not matter was
affecting his game, he laughed out
loud and shouted “it just doesn’t matter”. He
then went back to being himself and firing those laser serves that I just
watched as they flew by.
Remember that man a foot taller (and a foot wider)
than I am grabbed my hand held it in a vice grip shook it hard three times then
let it go. When he noted “well, this
book I read said grab the employer’s hands…”
I told him next time, “just be yourself”.
Making
It Work:
Think through the physical part of the
interview. What advice have you been
given or what parts of it have you become worried about?
Certain parts are essential – making sure that you
are looking good, smelling good with an authentic smile for the person who is
taking time out of their day to meet with you.
Most employers are anticipating that people have
some things that make this meeting less than the real person – hey, you are
giving your best first impression. The
key to this is to make certain that you are being yourself and not constrained
in ways to act that are not you.
Make a list of the different parts of the physical
aspects of the interview (eye contact, shaking hands, posture, etc.) and circle
the ones that you are concerned with.
Now think through what it is that you want to do about them and consider
if that is something you will be comfortable doing.
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Employers
usually believe they are better than average judges of character. Part of their assessment of YOU is if you
consider their agency's work
1.)
important to you and
2.)
theirs is a place you will stay for a while.
Knowing
how they may 'size you up' helps you prepare for meeting with decision
makers. A good way to understand this is
the Tale of the Three Bricklayers.
An
opinion surveyor walked up to three
people 'laying bricks ' on a work site and asked each of them ”what are you doing?”
The
first one growls “I'm slapping two bricks together,
then another and then another ...what a stupid question!”
The
next one states ”well, we're a team. I build a wall, she builds one and he builds one”.
The
third smiles and said “Thanks, I am helping build a
cathedral people will enjoy for generations to come.”
The
moral is that they are doing the same
job only looking at it differently and it shows in their attitudes. Take a moment and reflect on the attitude
an employer looks for in longevity, solid customer service & other
intangibles for the job he is filling. Will he find it in you?
Making It Work:
Now reflect on how you are feeling about each job you are considering. Would you see the work as “slapping two bricks
together” or as something more?
Nearly
every job offers the chance to see the work as larger than 'just bricks” but
it’s up to you how you will see it.
Make a chart with 3 columns: “just bricks”,
“team work” and “cathedrals”
adding your thoughts on each job you are considering and which column they
belong in today.
On
another day, without
looking at today's list, write down your thoughts a second time. This helps focus
your mind more fully. The
employer will see your true attitude pretty quickly in how you present yourself
your answers and that look in your eye.
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Spirit
In all of the books I have read on job hunting few discuss
the spiritual side of the search. I do not mean a religious matter –
just keeping your spirit and motivation ‘up’ while you are doing the soul
sapping struggles you face. Remember in
the job hunt that you take time for yourself to appreciate the beauty around
you. For example that you
•
See the beauty
in things not necessarily man-made, but things like sunsets or the beauty in
the night sky.
•
Find yourself a
safe place where you can focus on the things important to you.
•
Put together a box that is all yours with things
that give you a sense of peace – from photos, to things you enjoy doing to
scents that you like.
•
List traditions
that bring you peace of mind (such as saying thanks daily or playing favorite
music)
Getting used to feeling centered is like learning to
get your balance or riding a bike.
Before you can move forward with confidence, you need to feel sure of
your balance. Also, balance requires
moving forward with confidence.
Making
It Work:
Here is something that can help you through the hunt
– and often it is free. Build a
centering box – put in a box or in the bottom of your sock drawer
where you can.
Keep things in a private and safe place the items
and images (sensory things) that help you feel more centered and at peace.
Write down a list of what goes into that box.
Appreciate nature every day. Find something in the world around you that
has its own rhythm (from the last song of the birds before sunset to the rattle
of a passing subway car). Write a list
of these things and add to the list you find as days go by. Write a list of traditions you have enjoyed
that give you a sense of warming your spirit.
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Courage – a small voice
Sometimes you feel so small as you look for someone
smart enough to hire you. More and more you
face the idea that the future will never look anything different from the
present, slogging through more days like the day before.
The tough part here is that the winner in the job
search is often the person who projects a positive image – how to do that when
the days are all so gray? This is when
you appreciate that sometimes courage is not about bravado, but is a small
voice that says “well, I will try again tomorrow”.
Margie’s Courage
Years ago I
counseled a young single mother of several children. She cried in talking over the lack of job
skills she had because she was just a
mother. She had heard of the
lines of mothers being coaches and nurses and she was not buying those as job
readiness skills. She needed to
understand something more specific to HER life.
We spent hours
talking about the Headstart program her children were in. This preschool program required that parents
get involved and she elected to join committees like the ones that put together
the holiday parties for the kids.
Mary joined this
committee and quickly noticed that when she spoke, other
people listened and they appreciated her insights. She showed them the energy and positive
spirit that made her a successful single mom as she headed up several
projects. Even though teachers or
administrators had sometimes in the past made her feel small and relatives had
questioned her parenting skills sometimes, here she learned to have courage of
her convictions and to be heard.
Soon afterward she
became a supervisor in a local hospital dietetics service. Her kids are doing fine having a great role
model for learning their own courageous side.
Making
It Work:
Think of a saying you have heard in the past for
motivation. Ask around to friends or
look into it yourself – but make certain that these nuggets have meaning to
you.
Return to the lesson “Libraries are Full of Them”
and make a list of people you know – family, friends, teachers. What makes them unique and special in your
estimation?
Now take these things that are special to you and
write them down – say them loudly when you feel your spirits waning. Otherwise, you can find three quotes from
your research on motivating for a brighter future and read them aloud at the
start and end of each day you are job hunting.
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A Diamond is just a
piece of coal
that did well under
pressure
You never really know about a person – especially
their courage and character – until you have seen them handle pressure. It is only then that you see if the person
remains a lowly piece of coal or becomes the diamond that lies beneath. Remember that a diamond is just a piece of
coal that did well under pressure.
In the Job Hunting Oz factor we focus on the quality
of courage. Note that the more you are
able to present courage – ability to work well under pressure just as well on
good days as bad – the more you are able to show your diamond-like
qualities. But first YOU have to see
it.
Making
It Work:
List the challenges you have faced in the following
four sections.
A – In your studies. Academic counselors say it is not the super
high school student who does well in college, but one who knows how to handle
it when she cannot understand something easily and works hard to get it all
learned.
B – In dealing with
or helping others. How
do you handle clients/customers who are difficult to deal with?
C – In the
decisions to do the right thing, especially when what is
right is not easy.
D – In dealing with
your own personal challenges.
Let your mind drift through some divergent thinking
searching the ways you have become the person you are. And remember that courage and
conscientiousness is not all about brave actions… it is often just a small
voice inside.
•
Is there
anything facing you now that challenges you to move from a piece of coal to a
diamond?
•
Facing
challenges in the four sections noted above – how are you planning to address
them now?
•
What are your
plans for what is next in your personal challenges?
Now use some convergent thinking and find the top
answers to the above questions to show not just yourself but the stranger who
will one day become your next employer.
Hey - and enjoy yourself.
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Those who think they
can
She was a single mom back in the Great Depression, a
time when there were not many supports for families in her situation. She began making then selling soap she would
make in her bathtub with the little money she could put together.
Well, she got pretty good at selling and with
hope, hard work and the help of others she created one of the largest
cosmetics companies in the world and named it after herself, Mary Kay Ashe. She
regularly stated that one of the keys to her success is a phrase she never forgot:
“Those who think they
can, can.
Those who think they
cannot are right.”
The point here is that it is essential you think you
can accomplish something in order to finally do it.
People who question if they can are no less
competent, smart or capable of meeting the goal. What holds them back is that they deep down
do not think that they can make it.
Think of the successful people you have heard of, met or read about. They all shared Mary Kay’s secret.
Making
It Work:
Review the Oz factor and review what you have in the way of brains to
learn things; heart to get along with others and courage to be conscientious
and honest in growing with time.
You are still in the process of growing your Oz
factor, growing your smarts, your heart and your lion-ness. Review your answers to the first lessons,
circle the ones that give you confidence that you are going to make it.
These are the sides of who you are… not someone else, not some model from another job
hunting book but YOU.
Write these answers in the space below and once a
day before you start the day’s job hunt say out loud “those who think they can, can, those who
think they cannot are right. I think I can.”
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Beating the Top 40.
Somewhere near you is a radio station where you can
still hear the top forty songs either of this week or a week years ago. The reason I focus on 40 here is that it is
an easy number to remember and use and because I miss the show “American Top
40”.
Take a moment because you are up against a lot of
competition for jobs. OK, have already
figured that one out, but know also that many people who do not prepare well
for the hunt will soon fall of and no longer be your real competition.
Making
It Work:
Below are forty X’s (competitors for a job) and one O (that’s you). Now cross out a few X’s the competition who
have not examined their skills, a few more who have not considered the
employer’s point of view, a few more who
became discouraged while you kept on moving forward.
Keep this chart as you complete the JHTK crossing out more X’s as you learn more about language,
other job search fine points and so on. Once
you are done, you will see that your real competition is not as big and bad as
you first thought.
X X X
X X X
X X X
X X X
X X X
X X X
X X X
X X X
X X X
X X X
X X X
X X
X X X
X X
O
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